REDMOND, Wash. — Following the disappointing reception to its new looter shooter Redfall, Arkane Studios has announced a new special edition of the game that will be bundled with a copy of Dishonored, a previous title of theirs.
“Whoa, that’s a pretty sweet deal,” said Miles Holt, a local gamer. “I was on the fence about Redfall. On one hand, Arkane has made a handful of the best games of this generation, easily. On the other hand, Redfall feels like the exact kind of game we were all sick of like two years ago that’s only being kept alive by executives who thought they were a golden ticket for some reason even though very few of them have proven successful. It really didn’t do a lot for me. But now with this new special edition of Redfall, I know I will be enjoying the classic Arkane gameplay we’ve all come to expect. I can’t wait!”
Representatives from Microsoft hope the new special edition of Redfall that comes with a copy of Dishonored will salvage the game’s unflattering press cycle.
“We really gotta get out ahead of this thing,” said Michael Williams, a Microsoft executive. “If we don’t turn this game into a winner, it will almost certainly go on the shelf next to Anthem and Babylon’s Fall as high profile failures of live service games that absolutely nobody wanted. This was supposed to be one of our big exclusives for the year, and it’s turned out to be an absolute lemon. I guess maybe our strategy of slowing our exclusive game releases to a crawl so that gamers will be happy when we chuck ‘em some slop isn’t working out, huh?”
As of press time, Arkane had confirmed that future updates to Redfall would address the game’s framerates, matchmaking, and probably kick you a copy of Prey if you wanted it.
