SAN FRANCISCO — A tech demo showing a recently developed automaton with the ability to critique movies and roll their eyes at them has reportedly left one YouTube film critic terrified for his future.
“Oh man, I knew this fucking day would come,” said Nathan Mitchell, who posts film reviews regularly on his channel Nate Mitch’s Hits and Misses. “It’s so advanced, the way it leads with a thesis and shoehorns whatever it feels like into that thesis, the way it makes absolutely introductory level observations, and that’s not even mentioning its pissy, condescending demeanor. I got six months left in the game, tops.”
The robot was originally planned for much more admirable work, engineers have revealed.
“We had high hopes for this thing, we really did,” said Lisa Covington, engineer at Michigan State University. “We thought we could have it scan the airwaves and internet for broadcasts that sought to misinform or falsely persuade viewers. However, our first test unit just droned on and on about ways that the stuff it watched could’ve been better, and honestly most of us fell asleep. Doctor Bradley stayed up though, and said that when the robot started talking about the hero’s journey in Joker he knew we were sitting on a goldmine.”
The team of engineers has swiftly adjusted their plans and have now started a monetized YouTube channel where they show the android contemporary films and upload its responses to them.
“Oh my god, R9-3-5-11X2 is my new film review channel, hands down,” said YouTube user Cameron Hernandez. “The way he cites the film’s most obvious influences like it’s rocket science, the way he can talk for a minute without actually making a point, and of course, the smug, smug nature of it all. This box of lights and wires has got the goods, people.”
As of press time, Mitchell was uploading a negative review of the robot to YouTube.
