Amity Gilmour
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SAN MATEO, Calif. — Investors were relieved today after Roblox confirmed their latest scandal had nothing to do with pedophilia. …
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Kyle Duggan
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KYOTO, Japan — Diddy Kongs are not conceived through conventional intercourse, a fact announced by Nintendo while promoting their upcoming…
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Garry Kerls
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BOSTON — A serious medical emergency occurred this past weekend after a Boston Dynamics robotic dog named Spot got into…
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Hard Drive Staff
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Last week’s column reminded me that I’d been meaning to play Dragon Ruins II. It’s been out for a few…
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Matt Fresh
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LOS ANGELES — When he isn’t out in the field harassing and forcefully escorting Hispanic people into an unmarked van,…
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Ben Friedman
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WASHINGTON — The Trump administration announced a landmark trade deal which would give the United States exclusive mineral rights for…
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MUSHROOM KINGDOM — Waluigi, noted foil of Mario and Luigi, has been arrested after being caught masturbating in public at…
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Matt Fresh
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MONTREAL — Fans of the simulator genre have a new game to look forward to and it’s set to be…
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Testament Crux
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For decades, we’ve seen countless video games objectify the female form with tacky, over-the-top jiggle physics on comically large breasts.…
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Shane Pauker
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SPRINGWOOD, Ohio — Attempted murderer Freddy Dunning-Kruger has overestimated his ability to adequately slay children while they sleep, sources on…
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