BURBANK, Calif. — With the recent addition of Jason Voorhees from the Friday the 13th series, and Agent Smith from The Matrix series, Multiversus roster now exceeds its fanbase in total numbers with 27 characters.
I sat down with a few of those fans to discuss the return of the IP whoring brawler and to get the lowdown on the Multiversus scene.
“It’s like each of us is getting a character all to ourselves,” said Thomas Shrek, a college freshman rocking a Marvin the Martian t-shirt. “Every time I close my eyes there’s someone new on the roster. It makes me really hopeful for future DLC characters. Like I think they’ll add Walter White from Breaking Bad, or Eleven from Stranger Things.”
The room collectively nodded in agreement at Shrek’s DLC wishlist. After explaining intellectual property rights and the limitations of Warner Brothers Discovery, I proceeded to question the fanbase about the roster and what they thought of the game’s return after a year-long hiatus.
“They called us fools for sticking around. Who’s the fool now?” Terry Philips, a comic illustrator in a Steven Universe t-shirt, shouted to the heavens. “We all awaited its return and now we shall be granted a main of our own for our patience and loyalty. All we need now is the twenty-seventh fan that the prophecy foretold of. He is a LeBron James main and he will make us whole.”
Philips approached me, continuing to shout nonsense about a twenty-seventh fan. He grabbed me and I shoved him to the ground. In the struggle, he ripped the button-down shirt I wear for interviews, revealing my Miami Heat jersey that doubles as a good undershirt. The fans in the room let out an ear-piercing screech. My ears filled with pain as more screeches started up in the distance. The room fell silent after what felt like hours. All eyes were on me.
“Twenty-Seven. We’ve been waiting for you,” the fans said in sync. “Each character now has their player. The game is complete. Join us. Join us and we can create a community of peace, tranquility, and of speculating characters the developers will deliver to us as DLC gifts from the heavens. With this control you are one of us, and we are all one. Welcome, brother.”
At press time, I prophesied to my brothers that Don Draper of Mad Men and Michonne from The Walking Dead would soon join the Multiversus’ roster.
