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Load-Bearing Towel Finally Removed from Gamer’s Room

MUNCIE, Ind. – Local gamer Samuel Teskey is getting a fresh start in life after the crusty towel that’s taken up a corner of his bedroom was finally removed earlier this week.

Teskey’s mother, Janey Teskey, confirmed the removal of the towel over a gossipy cup of coffee with her ladies that best friend Marie Garrett then posted about to Facebook.

“I have been looking for that towel since New Year’s Day. It’s part of a set and Samuel knows he’s not supposed to just run off with it,” Janey lamented as she stirred sugar into her fourth cup of coffee. “I don’t condone him using the towels to clean up his sweaty gaming sessions, but if he is going to do that, he needs to not do it with the good towels. We have specific towels for that kind of mess.”

As the gossip session lingered on, Janey voiced concerns about her adult son and his gaming addiction.

“I just don’t know where he got his addictive personality,” Janey wondered after ordering another cup of coffee. “We raised him to be better than that. He should be out meeting other people his age and giving me grandkids. Not holed up in his room sweating through another match of Call of Halo and crusting up my good towels.”

Moved to tears by her son’s crusty towel antics, Janey was on the verge of giving up when nosey neighbor, Annie Wellington, chimed in with advice.

“You have to hide your towels,” the well-to-do Wellington said while sipping her $10 latte. “My son, Timothy, was also wiping his gamer sweat on our good towels. It almost drove me and my husband to divorce. But on a hunch, we hid the towels. All of them. The good, the bad, the rags. We don’t know what he’s wiping up with now, but we don’t care. Our towels are safe and uncrusty.”

The Facebook post ended with Marie bragging about how her non-gamer son has clean towels and a life.

“Upon hearing Janey and the others relay their towel horror stories I’m forever grateful to my boy Kyle. He’s not a gamer, just the occasional Nintendo and his towels have never been crusty and he’s on track for a good career and normal life. I pray for my gal pals and their boys.”

At press time, Janey hid her towels in her backyard while her son grunted through another sweaty gaming session.

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