Help! Please! I accidentally left my keys inside my house and the door is locked and I can’t get back in! I called my local locksmith but he hasn’t done anything to actually help me. He just keeps telling me to, “let my heart be my guiding key!” What does that even mean? Please, if anyone knows anyone else who can come by, I need to get back inside right away. My 3-year-old is in there all alone and the stove is on!
To make matters worse, this kid is literally carrying a giant key. It’s almost like he’s taunting me! Not that it’s doing any good, though; it’s way too big to fit in my door’s keyhole and every time I try to take it from him it just disappears and reappears back in his hand! I don’t know why this idiot didn’t bring a lockpick set or something, but I’m at my wit’s end. I heard something break inside the house! What if my kid knocked over a vase and there’s sharp glass on the floor now?!
I’ve tried calling other locksmiths in the area but no one could get out here anytime soon. When I called one such company they even told me this guy out here isn’t even a “keyblade master” and failed his mark of mastery exam. I don’t know exactly what that means, but it doesn’t sound good and I’m still standing outside while my toddler wanders alone in my house, possibly breaking more things. And who knows what they could be eating in there?
As despair is starting to set in and I realize that I may have to wait for my wife to get home, this jerk just keeps saying nonsensical platitudes. I told him I was having heart palpitations because I was stressed and I have a weak heart and he said, “That’s not true! The heart may be weak, and sometimes it may even give in. But I’ve learned that deep down, there’s a light that never goes out!” I don’t even know what that means. I think he was just waiting for me to talk about my heart because now he won’t shut up about hearts.
Oh, thank God. I just got off the phone with this kid’s boss. Looks like this other guy Riku is gonna come by, and apparently he’s the best. For some reason the first guy—Sora—is the only one who ever shows up.
Worst case scenario, I’m just gonna break a window. This little prick isn’t gonna stop me, and I gotta get in there before my kid eats all my sea salt ice cream!
