NEW YORK — According to close friends of Dylan Rocco, 36, the local gamer has reportedly been attempting to keep his fingers clean while gaming by eating Doritos directly out of a trough.
“He kept saying it was of the utmost importance that he keep his hands clean so his keyboard could stay in pristine condition,” said Sarah Yorke, Rocco’s housemate. “He’d tell me that through a mouthful of chips, seemingly unaware that the front of his shirt was so covered in cheese dust that I couldn’t tell what color it originally was.”
Reporters reached out to Rocco in order to verify the information and to ask why the keyboard was of such high priority.
“Look, man, this keyboard was like, seventy dollars. And it lights up! I gotta protect that. I stand by my actions. Besides, I’m actually a really clean guy,” said Rocco, wiping Dorito grease off his desk. “I lost my dignity a long time ago anyway, when I picked up League of Legends.”
William Parker, President of Marketing at Razer, acknowledged the problem in a press release after hearing of the story.
“We at Razer are absolutely aware of the demand for better ways to keep your peripherals in good condition. That’s why we’re excited to announce our newest accessory, the Razer Snack Trough,” said Parker in the press release. “Equipped with RGB Lighting, gamers will be able to snack in the dark, without getting any crumbs on their hands.”
At press time, Rocco was thrilled to learn he could eat Doritos with chopsticks instead.
