Technology Archives - Page 3

Sony Announces New PS5 Slim Will Be Water Resistant in up to 1 Inch of Water for 3 Seconds

Saad Khan • November 18, 2023

One longtime Playstation fan questioned whether other consoles could keep up with the innovation. “Ha! I bet the next Xbox…

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Blood-Soaked ChatGPT Announces Sam Altman No Longer CEO or ‘A Problem’

Hard Drive Reporter • November 17, 2023

SAN FRANCISCO — In a shocking and openly hostile press release, ChatGPT, the AI developed by OpenAI, announced that Sam…

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OpenAI Announces New CEO Just Some Guy Desperate to Get ChatGPT to Say ‘Fuck’

TJ Main • November 17, 2023

SILICON VALLEY — After the ouster of Sam Altman, OpenAI has appointed its new CEO, a man solely focused on…

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Email Left Unread as Reminder to Read It

Cathy Herbert • November 17, 2023

VANCOUVER — An email containing semi-important instructions regarding a workplace social event has entered its third unread day in the…

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Man Fears Newly Built Mechanical Keyboard Not Leading to a Better Him

Spencer Revoy • November 16, 2023

DAVENPORT, IA — Found hunched over his desk at the conclusion of the work week, local mechanical keyboard enthusiast Jared…

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Dangling 3-Way RCA Splitter Probably Fine if You Don’t Touch It

Jacob Colliver • November 10, 2023

CLEVELAND — A precariously-dangling RCA splitter has somehow stood the test of time and will probably continue to do so,…

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ACME Corporation Introduces Slightly Less Dangerous Self Driving Car Than Tesla

Mark Roebuck • November 1, 2023

SOMEWHERE NEAR ALBUQUERQUE — ACME Industries, manufacturers of notably explosive products, introduced a self-driving car that has proven to be slightly…

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Man Stalked by Novelty Toaster He Looked At on Amazon Once

Travis Tack • October 31, 2023

CHICAGO — A local man is reportedly being stalked by a novelty toaster he merely looked at one time on Amazon,…

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AI Perpetuates Unrealistic Standard Of How Weird A Woman’s Hands Should Look

Travis Tack • October 29, 2023

WELLESLEY, Mass. — A recently published comprehensive study found spikes in depression and low self-esteem among groups that were regularly…

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Apple Announces New iPad Will Fatally Electrocute Any Unauthorized Users

Ron Portman • October 24, 2023

CUPERTINO, Calif. — Apple released some details about their upcoming new iPad Air tablet today, most notably the fact that…

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