Hdmain Tag Archives - Page 38

Fedora Guy Upstaged by Kilt Guy

Mike Moran • December 9, 2024

REHOBETH BEACH, Del. — A prominent “fedora guy” was apparently demoted in popularity in favor of a new “kilt guy,”…

UnitedHealthcare CEO Assassin Spotted Emerging from Conveniently Placed Hay Cart

Peter Ferrarese • December 8, 2024

NEW YORK — Multiple eyewitnesses claimed to have seen the assassin of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson emerging from a conveniently-placed…

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Opinion: The Avengers Need Their Own Pro-Spider-Man J. Jonah Jameson

Kyle Duggan • December 7, 2024

Look, we all know that the Avengers are in big trouble. After a series of crushing defeats, their popularity is…

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Inconsiderate Asshole in Movie Theater Demands People Put Their Phones Away

Matt Fresh • December 6, 2024

CHICAGO — A recent screening of the new hit film Wicked was disturbed when an unruly and inconsiderate patron rudely…

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How Elon Musk Would Change Every Hasbro IP

R. Anthony Mahan • December 6, 2024

Brilliant industrialist and Shadow President-elect Elon Musk has recently suggested buying Hasbro, because this selfless hero has dedicated himself to…

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Studio Begins Animated Remake of Beloved Live-Action Retelling of Cherished Animated Classic

Dan Katz • December 5, 2024

HOLLYWOOD — A major movie studio has confirmed that production has begun on an animated remake of a beloved live-action…

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Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present & Future Debut Radical New Strategy

Matt Fresh • December 5, 2024

NEW YORK — In a shocking development, after hundreds of years spent haunting individuals into good behavior the Ghosts of…

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BREAKING: Nintendo Announces They Have Lost Shigeru Miyamoto Inside Super Nintendo World

B.D. • December 4, 2024

OSAKA, Japan — Following the recent reveal of Super Nintendo World's Donkey Kong Country expansion, Nintendo has issued a statement…

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Gamer Blames Failed Field Sobriety Test on Stick Drift

Jack H. • December 4, 2024

MILWAUKEE — The closing arguments for the State of Wisconsin v. Peter Gundy were made today, with a self-represented Gundy…

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Elderly President Too Distracted by Wayward Son to Fight Anti-Democratic Conspiracy

Kyle Duggan • December 3, 2024

NEW YORK — Disgraced president George Sears, also known as Solidus Snake, was unable to execute his plan to restore…

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