Tag: hdmain
1349 stories found
Ketamine Distances Self From Elon Musk
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BERLIN — Emphasizing that it supports peace, love, unity, and respect, the drug ketamine has publicly distanced itself from Elon…
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Report: Your Roommate Who Played “Return of the Obra Dinn” Also Really Enjoys Filing Taxes
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PHILADELPHIA — A new report has found that your roommate, who recently played and thoroughly enjoyed the indie puzzle game…
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Top 20 Games Likely to Be Banned by Executive Order
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With executive orders dropping faster than a SpaceX vehicle after “rapid unscheduled disassembly”, it isn’t long before we’ll begin to…
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Opinion: It’s Actually Kind of Ridiculous That Raccoon City Police Would Bother to Cite Me for Public Masturbation
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Okay, I fully admit I’m in the wrong here, but there’s just been a lot going on lately and I…
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RFK Jr. Willingly Infected With Las Plagas
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WASHINGTON — The Senate’s Health Secretary confirmation hearing for RFK Jr. hit a snag after it was revealed that he…
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Boss’s Waiting Room Full of Extra Ammo and Health Power-Ups
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PITTSBURGH — End of year assessments at local engineering firm Riverhead Technologies have spilled into the new year, with ample…
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Ecco the Dolphin Caught in Tuna Net
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PACIFIC OCEAN — Video game protagonist Ecco the Dolphin had his adventure cut short when he found himself snagged in…
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Nintendo Reveals Mario Went For First Colonoscopy, and He Feels Great
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REDMOND, Wash — With their beloved company mascot turning 40 this year, Nintendo has revealed that Mario recently went into…
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Upstair Neighbors’ Clobberin Time Disrupting Man’s Solitary Morbin Time
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PHILADELPHIA — Resident Marvel fan Steven Gooner has gone public about the embarrassing issues with noisy neighbors plaguing his Center…
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