Press "Enter" to skip to content

Tabletop Games

March 6, 2021

Former Cards Against Humanity Writer Keeps Pitching ‘Cum Goblin’ to Wizards of the Coast

Former Cards Against Humanity Writer Keeps Pitching ‘Cum Goblin’ to Wizards of the Coast

RENTON, Wash. — Former Cards Against Humanity writer Marc Weaver has reportedly frustrated his new coworkers at Magic: the Gathering after repeatedly pitching his idea…

February 27, 2021

Dungeons & Dragons Film Stalled After Chris Pine Chooses Charisma as Dump Stat

Dungeons & Dragons Film Stalled After Chris Pine Chooses Charisma as Dump Stat

LOS ANGELES — Paramount’s troubled Dungeons & Dragons adaptation hit yet another roadblock today after lead Chris Pine chose Charisma as his dump stat during…

January 21, 2021

Deluxe Edition of Board Game Includes Four Friends Willing to Play and Not Bitch the Whole Time

Deluxe Edition of Board Game Includes Four Friends Willing to Play and Not Bitch the Whole Time

LOS ALTOS, Calif. — Astral Plane Games, publisher of the popular worker placement board game Solis Occasum, has released a deluxe edition of the game…

December 13, 2020

Single D&D Session Gives New Player Confidence to Buy $50 Worth of Accessories

Single D&D Session Gives New Player Confidence to Buy $50 Worth of Accessories

ATLANTA — New Dungeons and Dragons enthusiast Clarissa Elliotte reportedly bought $50 worth of accessories after playing her first session of the tabletop roleplaying game.…

December 8, 2020

Netflix Prodigy Plays 7 Episodes of ‘The Queen’s Gambit’ at the Same Time

Netflix Prodigy Plays 7 Episodes of ‘The Queen’s Gambit’ at the Same Time

LEXINGTON, Ky. — Orphan and streaming prodigy Bess Herman, 9, has shaken up the world of on-demand entertainment by playing seven episodes of the Netflix…

November 29, 2020

Dog Wastes Only Inventory Slot on Frisbee

Dog Wastes Only Inventory Slot on Frisbee

SEATTLE — Adorable old english sheepdog and total noob, Pancakes, blew the only slot in his extremely limited inventory on a single frisbee, disappointed sources…

September 22, 2020

Loser Spends Three Years Earning Master’s Degree When He Could’ve Been Writing a Sick D&D Campaign

Loser Spends Three Years Earning Master’s Degree When He Could’ve Been Writing a Sick D&D Campaign

RALEIGH, N.C. — A local graduate’s Masters of Fine Arts degree was tainted by the realization the past three years could have been spent crafting…

September 9, 2020

Powerful, Strategic Deck Decimated by Opponent’s ‘Have a Lot of Monsters’ Strategy

Powerful, Strategic Deck Decimated by Opponent’s ‘Have a Lot of Monsters’ Strategy

NASHVILLE — A weekly Magic: The Gathering tournament at local shop Boards & Swords featured a shocking first round upset, as a carefully crafted deck…

August 30, 2020

Dungeon Master Sneaks a Few Real Dice in With Those Sex Ones

Dungeon Master Sneaks a Few Real Dice in With Those Sex Ones

PITTSBURGH — A recent attempt at invigorating the intimacy of Dana Boyer’s relationship with an avid role-playing fanatic ended horribly after her husband Stephen Barker…