Assassin’s Creed Valhalla, Ubisoft’s brilliant new adventure in gaming that lets you take on the life of a powerful viking, traveling through Norse mythology all while fathering your young son, is a brilliantly relatable story and perhaps their best work ever. After just a few moments, I found myself entirely absorbed by the sharp gameplay, linear action scenes, and legitimately affecting storylines.
These are all my true feelings of a masterpiece video game that I did not realize until just now is actually 2018’s God of War.
So what’s the deal with the game I was actually trying to review? Assassin’s Creed Valhalla is “set in 873 AD [and] the game recounts a fictional story of the Viking invasion of Britain,” at least according to Wikipedia. I actually don’t really know anything else beyond that.
In fact, I was pretty impressed I was even able to get a review copy of the game in the first place. I’m not really a big time reviewer or anything. Most of my reviews of video games are relegated to Facebook posts, where they can get upwards of four likes and one laugh-react.
When I walked into GameStop saying I’d like to buy this review copy of Assassin’s Creed Valhalla, I was admittedly surprised by the weird look the cashier gave me. I was also surprised they had the game available for sale at the store in the first place and that I was able to purchase it without showing any proof that I was a real reviewer. I just figured they were able to tell based on my look.
Obviously, now I realize that I was holding a copy of God of War.
To be completely honest with you, I’m not even sure why I’m publishing this at all. For whatever reason, this video game publication, Hard Drive, seems content with just passing along whatever I send them without actually reading it. The standards at this publication are shockingly low, and I say that as someone who was too dumb to realize until 15 hours into a video game that it wasn’t even the right genre.
Anyway, I guess I give Assassin’s Creed Valhalla an 8/10. I’m not really sure why, but from the trailers and two other reviews that I skimmed, it looks perfectly serviceable. But you know, not amazing or anything.
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