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#RestoreTheSnyderverse Guy Changes Address On Anthrax Envelope

BOISE, Idaho — After the announcement of Netflix’s intent to buy out Warner Brothers film and streaming businesses, local Zack Snyder fan Harrison Watford has changed the mailing address he is sending his lethal anthrax envelopes in an atte…

VIDEO GAMES

Townspeople Furious After Samus Aran Repeatedly Drives Motorcycle 120 MPH Through School Zone

GALACTIC OUTPOST 673 — Residents of the Galactic Federation outpost held an emergency town meeting last night to determine how to tackle the issue of… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Continue this tale</a>

Guy with 5 Likes on Letterboxd Feeling Pretty High and Mighty

VIDEO GAMES

Guest Removed From Dionysus’ Party for Decent Exposure

MT OLYMPUS — A mild kerfuffle erupted at a party hosted by Dionysus when a guest was asked to leave. Alexios Nicolatis of Athens was… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Read the full masterpiece</a>

VIDEO GAMES

Link Missing After US Military Blows Up King of Red Lions

CARIBBEAN SEA — Scattered flotsam is all that remains of Link’s ship after being struck by the US military, according to leaked Signal chats. “I… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Read more nonsense</a>

Health Concerns Grow After Professor Oak Forgets Grandson’s Name Again

POLITICS

Supreme Court Strips Samus Aran of All Previous Suit Power-Ups in 6-3 Ruling

WASHINGTON — The Supreme Court ruled on Friday that bounty hunter Samus Aran must surrender all suit power-ups prior to the start of an upcoming… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Continue this tale</a>

VIDEO GAMES

Pokémon Legends: Z-A Includes Feature Where You Can Turn Game Off & Go Do Something Else

HOUSTON — Fans from all over the country have reported that one of the most exciting and innovative features of the new “Pokémon Legends: Z-A”… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Read the full masterpiece</a>

POLITICS

Americans Now Required to Watch 60 Second Ad for SNAP Benefits

WASHINGTON — With SNAP benefits returning amid the end of the government shutdown, President Trump and Clash of Clans have partnered to add a new… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Continue reading this gem</a>

POLITICS

Trump Denies He Was Good Friends with Leisure Suit Larry

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump issued a vehement denial about the rumor that he was good friends with known sex pest Leisure Suit Larry, according… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Get the full story</a>

VIDEO GAMES

I Don’t Like You Either, Pal (Guest Column by Myles MacKenzie)

Listen up, nerds—and this time, I don’t mean that as a compliment. For weeks, the internet has been abuzz about my appearance in the Metroid… <a href="https://hard-drive.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #5c23a9;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#a76ef5'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#5c23a9'">Get the full story</a>