REDMOND, Wash. — Nintendo announced today that their next Nintendo Direct will be streamed live precisely when your boss shoots you a request to hop on a call.
“We love how much our fans are anticipating our next exciting Nintendo Direct, and we can’t wait to show off our upcoming releases for the Nintendo Switch system,” said Nintendo of America President Doug Bowser. “That’s why we’re so excited to be working with bosses across the nation to schedule check-ins right as the Direct presentation begins so we can draw out that anticipation for an extra 15 to 30 minutes. This next direct’s gonna be 40 minutes, too, so don’t even think about trying to just show up late to your meeting to catch the whole thing. You’ll have to just half pay attention to what’s trending on Twitter like all the other chumps.”
Managers and supervisors are eagerly printing quarterly sales and customer feedback reports to go over as Nintendo potentially reveals rumored games like a Switch release of The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker HD or the long awaited Metroid Prime remaster.
“We’re headed into the end of the third quarter here, so let’s hop on a Zoom and chat generally about how things are going,” said your boss, Kurt, currently taking a quick scroll through your availability. “Nintendo has been an amazing partner in helping to set this up, and we’re narrowing in on a time between 9:00am PST/11:00am CST/12:00pm EST and 2:00pm PST/4:00pm CST/5:00pm EST. Do any of those times work for you?”
Bowser reassured Nintendo fans feeling frustrated that they are going to be unable to view the Direct presentation live because of work obligations.
“Here at Nintendo, we’re keenly aware of how tough it can be to balance everyday work and the fun, inviting portfolio of games coming to the Nintendo Switch system in the first half of 2023, which is why we’re going to keep the fun going with a Treehouse Live presentation directly after the conclusion of the Direct in which I will conduct a performance review of our Head of Marketing.”
At press time, the CEO of your company just sent out an invite to an All Hands Business Update scheduled to begin halfway through the next PlayStation State of Play.