Universal healthcare. Protecting libraries. The LEGO January 6th Insurrection Game. What do all of these have in common? I fucking love them all!
Now, I was aghast when LEGO January 6th was first announced, but once Elon Musk started forcing the great reviews onto my X timeline, I just knew I had to download the game off of Truth Social (and of course immediately delete my account afterward). Playing as Donald Trump is truly a joy. LEGO Trump leads his MAGA mob to storm the Capital, but instead of having weapons, they wield Trump Bibles to beat back Dark Brandon and his legion of snowflake socialists, and I think it’s cool they made the most powerful weapon in the game a book.
In a departure from other LEGO games, but in a brilliant true-to-life detail, coins aren’t collected by breaking the environment. Instead, every time LEGO Trump gets hit, he loses a bunch of money and then asks for handouts from his supporters in the form of in-game purchases. The weirdest of which are different skin tones for LEGO Trump. And even though LEGO Black Trump is objectively offensive, I still appreciated the representation. A Black man leading a mob against law enforcement and he doesn’t die? Mind. Blown.
The most expensive in-game purchase, though, is a LEGO abortion clinic that’s meant to show the evils of abortion by having lady doctors abort LEGO Baby Eric. But after they flush him down the toilet, LEGO Trump does this little happy dance in the background that is so delightful that it always puts a smile on my face even though I’ve missed three student loan payments in a row.
The game’s mechanics are at peak performance, too. I for one had so much fun building the “Michael Pence” gallows- not because I wanted to hang LEGO Pence, but because I recently listened to a NPR podcast about the history of gallows and I would much rather have a blast constructing one in the game rather than annoying my pals with all the gallows facts I now know.
“How could you play that filth?” many of my progressive friends have asked me. But the moment they see the LEGO Drag Queens vogue-fighting to protect the Capitol, they’re transfixed, and we then take turns making the drag queens give LEGO Trump a makeover in the game’s best glitch.
But LEGO January 6th’s absolute finest feature comes in the online multi-player mode. Insurrectionists can upload their pictures to imprint them on their corresponding LEGO figures in the mob. Now, I’m no snitch, and fuck the police, but seriously like and subscribe my live streams if you want to make some arrests!
