WASHINGTON — Earlier today, President Trump signed an executive order banning any man from playing the WNBA mode on 2K25 surrounded by a crowd of reporters in the Oval Office.
“This is the best, most beautiful executive order I’ve signed yet,” exclaimed the President. “I promised to protect all women, including computer women, from dangerous men besides myself. If any man is caught pretending to be a woman on 2K25 to try dominating Caitlin Clark or—that’s the only female basketball player I know, they will be permanently banned from the game and publicly castrated.”
While many on the right are celebrating President Trump for his strong action against men playing the WNBA mode on 2K25, some are shocked this was on the list of priorities for the President.
“Is this real?” questioned D.C. native Brenda Aston. “I thought he would be trying to decrease the cost of living for every American, but instead, he’s worried about video games? Okay, yeah well this ‘problem’ of men playing WNBA mode on 2K25 won’t be much of a problem for long since most Americans won’t be able to afford the game here soon.”
White House correspondent Alfred Greenly, who has followed Trump for both of his terms, is weighing in on what this executive order could mean for the future of the United States.
“While this seems like a performative stunt to appease his base, President Trump won’t stop at 2K25,” said Greenly. “He’s going to go after any video game where you can choose a character, and he’s going to ban men from playing as those female characters. So favorites like Princess Peach, Lara Croft, Samus and Ms. Pac-Man could soon very well be off limits for men to play.”
At press time, PlayStation has announced that they will be installing genitalia scanners to all PS5s sold in the United States to adhere to President Trump’s newest policy.
