BELANTARA — A struggling mom and pop item shop is considering dismantling a longstanding tradition and adding a fourth item to their available inventory to try and increase revenue, local sources have confirmed.
“My grandfather’s rolling in his grave right now,” said Maxon Underhall, one of the co-owners of The Belentara Item Shop. “This place has been open for over a hundred years, and we’ve never had to sell anything more than health potions, bombs, and some arrows. Makes me sick that we’re thinking of putting a shield up on the counter for sale. On top of going against everything we stand for, it sure feels like I’m stepping on the toes of the weapon shop across town.”
Despite his hesitancy, Maxon’s wife and co-owner of the shop, Wendy, insisted that they must do anything they could in order to survive life in Belantara.
“Hey, we have to do what we can, especially in a place like this,” she said. “I mean, this town is crazy. At night the skeletons break out of their caskets and roam the streets. Did he tell you about his grandfather? I just want to save up enough money so we can get out of here one day. If that means selling a big ass shield instead of nickel and diming people for potions, then I’m sorry if that upsets you, but there’s more important things going on.”
Townsfolk were mostly indifferent to what the shop did.
“Honestly, who the hell wants to buy a giant shield?” asked a local villager. “I’m a farmer, and the only other people that live here just own the various shops across town. Doesn’t bother me one bit if they want to try, though. It’s bound to go about as well as the Planet Fitness they put in here last year. Place didn’t last a month.”
As of press time, the fledgling item shop was also thinking about adding some sort of shooting range game in the back room, once they got the paperwork figured out.
