YOUR NEIGHBOR’S HOUSE — New reports confirm that the PlayStation 5 is finally in stock, available for $0.00 (not including burglary supplies), at your neighbor’s home.
“We are happy to announce our partnership with your neighbor who has a PS5,” Sony CEO Kenichiro Yoshida stated. “This exciting development will bring a limited run of consoles — one to be exact — and it will be slightly used. However, it will all be worth it to break in and sneak past the dog to play our wonderful lineup of new and upcoming releases.”
Gamers are already setting aside plans to take advantage of the limited release.
“I’ve been casing this joint for a while,” said an anonymous man with a ski mask and striped shirt. “I know all the ins and outs and when exactly the owner will be gone. I can’t wait to finally play all the newest hits such as Demon’s Souls and Spider-Man: Miles Morales. Of course, it all depends on what my neighbor’s already got.”
John Hubert, the owner of the house, had some questions about the console drop.
“What are you talking about? I love my PS5, and I’m not looking to sell,” Hubert said while pulling into his driveway. “Wait, why is there a line of people sleeping outside my house? Oh shit! My window’s broken! All my games are gone! Who did this?”
For those who are unable to secure a PS5 during this drop, as of press time, an insider tip revealed that your other neighbor with a PS5 is planning a week-long trip next month. The insider encouraged fans to mark their calendars.