CHICAGO — Following the latest “Pokémon Presents” online presentation, Pokémon fanatic Andrew Sanchez proclaimed on Twitter that Pokémon fans are eating good right now, despite not consuming a single fruit or vegetable in six months.
“Yooooooo!” began Sanchez’s post. “New DLC for Scarlet and Violet, Pokémon Cafe Remix, AND an update to Pokémon Sleep?? Pokémon fans eating good RN! Metaphorically speaking, of course. I haven’t had anything to eat besides Taco Bell and Top Ramen in 6 months.”
Other Pokémon fans responded to the viral Twitter post to express similar sentiments.
“Same here FRFR, no cap,” read a reply from Twitter user @im_getting_chariz_hard. “I am SO psyched to explore Area Zero in Scarlet and Violet, and to play the highly anticipated follow-up to Detective Pikachu. I’m also scared to go to the doctor because my body is withering away due to a similar lack of nutritious sustenance. Still though– hype!!”
After witnessing the reactions to their latest string of announcements, CEO of the Pokémon Company Tsunekazu Ishihara issued a special statement just for fans.
“We are very pleased to see that people are excited for our latest games, mobile apps, and merchandise,” explained Ishihara. “However, we have noticed that many of you are not eating square meals and taking care of your bodies properly. Video games are fun, but it’s almost just as important to make sure you are eating foods from every section of the food pyramid. I can announce today that we will be releasing a special Pokémon-themed bento box later this year, which includes a caesar salad, an apple, and a juice box. There will be a Pikachu sticker on it.”
At press time, several Pokémon fans were hospitalized after eating nothing but McDonald’s in an attempt to collect each and every Pokémon Happy Meal toy.