NASHVILLE, Tenn. — A local man has learnt the dangers of buying used products online as a Ouija board he bought off of Craigslist was delivered to him broken.
38-year-old construction worker, Steve Canvas, bought the Ouija board that he immediately noticed was in faulty condition.
“Look, I just wanted to talk to my dead dog, Rusty, and I read online that the best way to contact the dead is by using a Ouija board. I found one for 2 dollars on Craigslist. The price should have been a red flag, along with the seller’s username, ‘Cheapbutworking247_420_bitch.’ But what can you do? I was missing Rusty so much,” said Canvas to the local news.
After receiving the item in the mail, Canvas sadly found that the Ouija board did not work.
“I got the damn thing wrapped in tinfoil. I was like, ‘This is not good…’ but I gave it a try. You know, I trust people; I’m not going to judge ‘Cheapbutworking247_420_bitch’ just because the dude had a funny name. My dog’s name was ‘Rusty,’ for goodness’ sake. Anyway, I got my hands on the damn thing, and the first thing it did was give me this message: ‘IRQL_NOT_LESS_OR_EQUAL.’ I tried and tried, but it always showed the same message. That’s not Rusty. Rusty would never say anything but ‘Give me sausages.’”
When asked for a comment ”Cheapbutworking247_420_bitch” replied,
”Hell yeah bröther!!!”
Steve says he contacted Ouija customer support but says they were less than helpful.
“They told me to boot it from a Ouija Boot Board but I don’t have one. Then they said they would send me a Ouija board with a boot file that he can use to clean install a new Ouija 11 operating system. But the install keeps getting stuck.”
At press time, Steve was reportedly seen starting a seance in his home to try fixing the issue but neighbors could see a bright blue light emanating from his home indicating he once again failed.
