REDMOND, Wash. — Nintendo executives made a bizarre clarification earlier today, insisting that a piece of artwork that’s gone viral depicting their iconic Mario character having sexual relations with his longtime platonic companion Toad was not a recognized part of Nintendo continuity.
“No way, that would never happen,” said Doug Bowser in a video that was uploaded to the internet earlier today. “To say nothing of our company’s family friendly image that prevents us from depicting any of our beloved characters engaged in the physical act of love making, we really don’t think Mario and Toad make any sense as romantic partners. This is in no way official to the story we’re telling here, and wanted to make sure the public understood that. Not from us guys, sorry.”
The clarification came after the crudely drawn picture made waves on the internet, with many unsure if it was official or not.
“Okay yeah, that makes sense,” said Manny Dodds, who saw the image of Mario just whalin’ on Toad shared by several sources across his timeline this morning. “I was like 50/50 when I saw it, whether it was some amatuer fan art or they were announcing a new Mario Party game or something. In hindsight, I think I was really hoping for a new Mario Party game and sort of let that cloud my judgment. There’s no way there’s a Mario Party game where you give it to Toad like that. That’s not really how Nintendo parties.”
The artist addressed the rumors that the wide misconception was the intention of the piece.
“I didn’t really think about the reception it might get, I just felt like drawing Mario banging out Toad,” said the reclusive artist of the piece who insisted on remaining anonymous, via a Twitter direct message. “Just really givin’ it to him.”
As of press time, the official Nintendo Twitter account retweeted the pornographic artwork in question, once again reiterating that they had nothing to do with it.
