CELADON CITY, Kanto — New Team Rocket recruit Wyatt Perry was surprised to learn about the mandatory crop tops mentioned in the dress code section of the Team Rocket Employee Handbook.
“’All Team Rocket Grunts will be administered two pairs of slacks, one pair of boots, one Team Rocket cap, and five Team Rocket crop tops (three short-sleeve and two long-sleeve) as their daily uniform’,” said Perry, 19, reading directly from the handbook he was given during New Grunt Orientation. “’Grunts are required to always wear this uniform when acting on behalf of Team Rocket. What the hell is this? This wasn’t mentioned when I interviewed.”
Perry wanted to make it clear that his discomfort with this policy was out of concern for safety, and not about his sense of self-image.
“I’m not uncomfortable with my body by any stretch of the imagination,” he said. “I work out and stuff. I just think it’s impractical for the job we’re doing. I’m supposed to be kidnapping three-foot Beedrills with stingers as long as my forearm, and you expect me to do that with my stomach exposed the whole time?”
Giovanni, leader of Team Rocket, asserted that the uniform requirements were out of budgetary necessity.
“We have a very high turnover at the entry level,” he said. “And crop tops require less material to make, so we lose less money handing them to a grunt who quits two weeks later because they can’t handle getting shocked by a Pikachu every day. It’s really the only way we can stay in business.”
Perry’s attempt to bring these safety concerns to HR’s attention were less than successful. “It turns out that Team Rocket’s HR department consists entirely of one talking Meowth.”
