BURBANK, Calif. — An all new completely immersive eSports experience will allow gamers the chance to have slurs yelled directly into their face instead of being confined to game chat.
The event, called Alpha Gaming Xperience, will be a pop-up experience with multiple locations throughout the country.
“I’m so excited to give regular gamers a chance to experience what it’s like in the eSports scene,” said event creator William Keith in a press release. “Most gamers never really get to know what it’s like on the pro scene. Some will see it as part of the live crowd but it’s not the same as being in the trenches. Now they’ll get the opportunity to be a pro for a day and take in all the awful smells and bigotry that comes with it.”
Stephen “Buckshot” Woltz, a former pro Valorant player served as a consultant to make sure the event is 100% authentic.
“I made sure that what is offered to gamers is completely true to the eSports experience. So it will be actors that will make up the teams that guests get to be part of but I trained them in how to act like a real eSports team to each other and to their rivals. I taught them all the basics, how to properly rage at a death, how to always blame a teammate and the most important thing, an extensive slur vocabulary. Now, the vile that spews from their mouths now is as good as anything I’ve ever heard a gamer shout.”
Keith further explained what gamers can expect from the event.
“It’s a full interactive experience where guests will be ushered into a foul smelling arena and get placed on a team, they’ll play a match of a competitive game of their choice. Based on how the game goes, a rival or even a teammate may come up and yell a slur at them. The actors are instructed to get as close to their face as humanely possibly without risking a lawsuit.”
At press time, employees of the event are reportedly undergoing therapy to undo the effects of learning how to be pro gamers.
