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Here’s All The Biggest Complaints From Yesterday’s Nintendo Direct

Nintendo’s latest announcement live stream revealed a lot of exciting titles and add-ons, with longtime fans having legacy games and trailers to get pumped about as well as brand new series that could be surprise sleeper hits. But if you had to miss the stream, you may not know the laundry list of complaints and missed opportunities, so here are all the biggest complaints from yesterday’s Nintendo Direct.

Miyamoto Didn’t Even Say ‘Hi’

When starting the Direct, many fans were upset that Shigeru Miyamoto just launched right into news and reveals, without even greeting us all individually. Really kind of rude and unprofessional.

Doug Bowser Made Everyone Say Grace Before Showing Off the Next Game

Halting the natural flow of the live stream, Nintendo of America CEO Doug Bowser made people join hands in prayer to bless the upcoming game trailer.

Turns Out Mario Isn’t Real

Fuck. This one hurt.

Something Something Metroid Blah Blah Blah

Nintendo fans are contractually obligated to bitch and moan that any announcement gave no word on the next Metroid title

Crippling Loneliness Remains Unresolved

Even though Nintendo teased an entire slate of promising games and glossy remasterings of classic titles, our search for a partner to share our live with unfortunately marches on.

Somebody Said ‘This Is Gay’ in the Comments

Even though the game they were showing off was totally gay, this remark still seemed uncalled for.

Mommy Took Away My Switch Until I Get My Social Studies Grade Up

Nintendo boldly gave previews into all their fascinating games coming to the Switch library despite the fact that Mom took away my Switch until I get at least a C+ in Social Studies, even though Mrs. Breckenridge totally hates me.

We Were Really Hoping It Would Be a Rap

Despite years of campaigning and filibustering, Nintendo has still neglected to do the series of game reveals and news announcements in the form of a light yet catchy rap song.

It Was 95% JRPG’s Nobody Has Ever Heard Of

This is actually pretty standard at this point.