MILWAUKEE — Local enthusiast of the “Gundam” franchise, Dave Baumann, has been reportedly complaining how menial tasks in his daily life feel “boring and not nearly customizable enough” when compared to building one of his Gundam Plastic models, worried sources confirmed.
“At first, I thought I was just a little bit obsessed, you know. When I got my first model, I had no idea what I was doing,” said Baumann, recalling how it all began. “But now, I go to eat breakfast in the morning, and I kinda pretend my cereal are tiny mecha pieces I need to paint in milk. If I don’t do that, eating becomes pretty boring.”
He also mentioned how disappointing shopping became when he realized things usually came already built.
“I’ve been buying exclusively DIY furniture from IKEA, but the thrill just isn’t the same. Sure I can buy a wardrobe and build it, but I can’t buy 7 different wardrobes, paint them nicely and display them with my own lore.
“Let me tell you, I am trying. I got 5 cupboards unbuilt in my backlog, I’m just not ready yet” Dave also explained how usual habits are becoming an issue. “I bought a new motherboard for my PC last week, and I almost started nipping all of the circuitry. It was just instinct, like the parts were calling to me, begging to be sanded.”
Friends of Baumann expressed concern over his compulsive desire to assemble things. Some of them even tried to understand him by taking on the same hobby, but the results were surprising.
“One of our friends tried to help Dave get back to normal by helping him build one of his robots,” said Curtis Harper, teary-eyed while explaining what’s been happening, “But unfortunately, she became one of them now. She even bought her first Real Grade model yesterday. I fear I lost two of my friends to this, and I don’t want to lose any more.”
But according to behavioral analyst Xavier Sanford, the “Gundam Craze”, as he calls it, may be here to stay.
“You know, they made a whole ass anime with gay girls and giant robots, and a lot of people saw it and decided to build their own Gundam,” said Dr. Sanford, while trying to remember which piece was the N16 and N17 from the model he was building.
“While Mr. Baumann is a veteran in the hobby, it is very likely that more and more of the population decides to start building their own models, thus creating a shift in the market reality where people will want everything to be DIY. Can you imagine,you buy a Toyota Prius and it’s a giant box with like a hundred thousand different parts? How crazy would that be.”
At press time, Baumann was in the process of flipping his entire house upside down in hopes of finding a single piece that went missing from his latest build.
