rp_downtown_v2 – Elected representatives and political pundits alike were stunned today, as the Garry’s Mod roleplay server GovernmentMod succeeded in passing dozens of bills to improve the life of the server’s citizens.
“I mean, that’s what we’re here to do at the end of the day,” explained President xX_FillibustDeezNuts_Xx. “The people of the server elected us to do cool shit, and we figured that’s a pretty good way to keep winning elections.”
“No one liked paying every time they died, so we got rid of that,” the President continued. “A bunch of people got pissed when they found the richest players holed up with a bunch of money printers, so we threw them in jail and took their cash. Even the fascist uprising didn’t last for too long. Turns out banning those fuckers is a net good for society.”
Put the Money in the Bag!, the President’s party, was elected on a far-left platform of universal healthcare, free daycare for any player under eighteen hours of playtime, and headcrab-free sewers. Speaking with the playerbase, the reception has been massively positive.
“He’s done so much for us,” said SupremeCourter, a gun salesman with a Father Grigori player model. “Just the other week, I was walking on the pavement and ended up falling through the map. Talk about dangerous. I told my representative, and they passed a law to patch it out the next day. Had a similar incident in real life, and I got screamed at for pushing ‘fifteen minute cities’ or some crap.”
However, not all reception toward GovernmentMod has been positive. Elected representatives across the political spectrum have come out swinging against this virtual world.
“This is ridiculous,” said Gavin Newsom, host of the This is Gavin Newsom Podcast. “These teenagers might think they can play government, but they’re clearly behind us in a bunch of these statistics. We beat them in lobbyist funding, we beat them in the fewest bills passed in a legislative session, and we absolutely crushed them in tolerance towards Nazis. Time for these brats to learn about the real world.”
At press time, the United States Senate passed a bi-partisan bill banning “Garry Mod” from running for office.
