SAN FRANCISCO — A top post on Gamespot.com has posited that GameStop has stopped being the top spot to spot top games, shocking gamers everywhere.
“What the fuck are you talking about,” asked a local GameStop customer when asked about the news. “Are you okay? What were those noises you were just making at me? Are you trying to ask me something? Do you need me to help you find your parents?”
Many customers were similarly perplexed by GameStop’s recent focus on their non-fungible token blockchain marketplace, after their brief run as a short squeeze meme stock last year.
“Whoa, were you talking to me that whole time,” said a GameStop customer Sucka Fukindik [ed. Mark, that wasn’t that man’s name]. “None of that makes any sense to me, leave me alone, and also get out of my way. Thank you.”
“Actually, hey kid,” he continued. “Do you need help calling your parents or something?”
When asked how GameStop managers were managing to manage their myriad of mysterious managerial missions post-GameSpot GameStop game spotting post, many were clearly still adjusting to its aftermath.
“What was that, like a riddle?” asked a GameStop manager with pins and stickers all over their name tag. “Did you wait in that long line to ask me a riddle? Fuck, it gets weirder here every day, man. I think I’m gonna quit. If it isn’t people arguing with me about how much I’m allowed to give them for their used shit, it’s weirdos like you busting my balls. Fuck this.”
As of press time, Gamespot has posted that new upstart company GamePost might post its first game post soon. Representatives from GameStop were too confused to comment.
