LONDON — Visiting Gamer Timothy Stevenson has reportedly blocked out an entire day from his London vacation schedule in order to fight Vicar Amelia, a high-ranking member of the Healing Church who possesses the gold pendant of church founder Laurence.
“Fighting Amelia was the number-one thing I wanted to experience while here. In the game it took me about five hours to beat her, so I knew I’d probably need a full day, just in case,” said Stevenson. “I made sure to come prepared. My checked luggage is completely full with fire paper and blood vials. Unfortunately customs confiscated my saw spear, but I’m hoping I can find another one of those around here somewhere.”
Stevenson then explained just how different London was from how he imagined it.
“FromSoft definitely took some creative liberties when making the game. I haven’t seen any bonfires this whole time, though that may be because I’ve only been out during the day. There are also a lot fewer people carrying pitchforks and torches than I thought there would be,” Stevenson said, adjusting his tricorn hat. “Not everything is different, though. Everyone is calling me an outsider and saying I don’t belong here, which is just like in the game. The atmosphere is just as depressing, as well.”
Emily Beckins, a friend of Stevenson who accompanied him on the trip, gave her thoughts on the situation.
“I think he’s going to try to fight whoever is in charge of St. Paul’s Cathedral. He said we’re going there tomorrow and that I should bring my camera to ‘document him slaughtering his prey,’ whatever that means,” said Beckins. “I asked him if we could just do something normal like go to Westminster but he insisted that he needed to do this if we wanted to go to Hemwick. That’s not a borough I’ve ever heard of, but he seems to know more about the city than I do.”
At press time, Stevenson was seen circling around a member of the King’s Guard, fishing for an opportunity to perform a backstab.
