LUBBOCK, Texas — Gamer Luis Foreman has reportedly decided that he doesn’t need to learn a certain mechanic in the action role-playing game Sorcerer’s Bane, according to those familiar with the situation.
“I’m like 15 hours into this game and the tutorial for ‘advanced rolls’ pops up. Nope. Don’t need it. Not gonna learn it, not gonna use it,” Foreman explained. “My very standard rolls are just fine, thank you very much. I’ve got a good thing going here with my character in general. Like, are there better weapons out there? Absolutely. I’m sure they exist. But do I know how to use them? God no. I like what I have and I like what I do and that’s fine. There’s more than enough mechanics in this game for me to have to figure out. So no, thank you; I won’t be performing any rolls of the advanced sort. Because if I even think about doing that, I know I’ll be rolling to my doom.”
According to those familiar with the situation, Foreman shares this personality across many facets of his life.
“It can be tricky to get him to learn new things. He is very stuck in his ways,” said the manager at Foreman’s office job, Kayleigh Colon. “Most of what he does is in Microsoft Excel and he’s good at his job, don’t get me wrong. But there’s so many things he could be doing to complete his work faster. It’s not even just hotkeys — he absolutely refuses to learn any SQL because he claims he ‘knows enough already’ and likes the way he does things now. OK? I’m not trying to force him to do it differently, I’m just telling him there’s a way to do it way better if he wants and it’s included in the program. In a lot of ways it’s like video games, I guess. That’s what you were asking me about, right? Video games?”
At press time, Foreman was reportedly stuck on a Sorcerer’s Bane boss that required the use of advanced rolls.
