BURBANK, Calif. — Local gamer Steven Collett half-heartedly scrolled through his Facebook news feed during a Call of Duty: WWII cutscene that took a development team over 3,000 painstaking man-hours to create, sources confirmed.
“It’s a lot of stress to spend countless hours in front of Autodesk Maya and carefully sculpt a character out of a hundred thousand polygons, but I love my art,” said lead artist Brendan Wilson, completely unaware of the casual indifference Collett showed towards his work. “I’m just glad that our fans get to enjoy every second of it.”
“I had to skip going home for my high school reunion,” added environmental artist Daniel Ngyun, “but the volumetric fog wasn’t looking quite right and I want gamers to have a flawless visual experience. Everything we do is for them!”
The fog in question is visible briefly in a cutscene Collett ignored while deciding between the “wow” and “haha” reacts on a video about irregular-shaped produce. When told of his apathy towards the result of their labor, many team members were vocally disappointed.
“I missed my son’s first steps because I was adjusting the collision detection on Sgt. Pierson’s helmet so the straps wouldn’t clip through his collar,” said animator Debra Hansen. “Sure, I feel guilty for missing such an important milestone, but I always thought it was worth it for all the gamers who appreciate our dedication. I didn’t realize they were spending the cut scenes lurking their ex’s pictures. Oh god, what have I done?”
Upon completion of the cutscene Collett reportedly put down his smartphone, stared at the screen, and said, “Wait, so what just happened? What am I supposed to do?”
