ANAHEIM, Calif. — The free battle royale sensation Fortnite received a brand new map update from developer Epic Games today, with a new spot to get your real-life credit score checked.
“After collaborating with Marvel, the NFL, and Netflix, we’re stoked to announce our latest collaborator: MasterCard,” said Epic Games spokesman Eric Melfour. “Players can drop into the map and make their way to the credit check station, and after filling out a lengthy form, players can get their real-life credit and FICO score to qualify to buy a house or finance education! We know players will enjoy running around the map shooting, looting, and having frank conversations with their spouse about debt consolidation and forgiveness to prudently plan for their future!”
Players have had mixed reactions to the digital MasterCard installation.
“As an adult playing a free video game for children, I clearly don’t really have my life together,” said Fortnite player Thomas Coleson. “Having this little segment of the map that tells me that I’ll never be able to buy any real estate or escape from the debt I have financially collapsed underneath is a constant reminder of my past mistakes and lackluster future, but the area has some of the loot in the game, so I guess it’s kind of a sweet/sour addition to the game.”
While adults seem to see the collaboration to be grim, children who play the game have enjoyed the update.
“I can usually get a few easy kills on adults who freeze in disbelief after seeing their laughably low credit score,” said ten-year-old Timmy Blevins. “Sure, it’s not as wacky or fun as the Jurassic World or Batman map segments, but it’s by far the most pragmatic. It even reminded me to not let my MasterCard points expire, which can be turned into tax-free cashback on my next statement!”
At press time, Epic Games teased a potential future partnership with the Mayo Clinic to allow players to rank up the battle pass by lowering their cholesterol levels in the next season.
