SAN FRANCISCO – According to a press release, Elon Musk has added a unique accolade to his resume: a nomination for “Most Divorced Gamer” at The Game Awards.
“We created this category for 2023, and there was really only one person we had in mind. And that was Elon.” Geoff Keighly, creator and host of The Game Awards, said. “His blend of desperation for recognition and his unique ability to repel virtually everyone, save for certain Tesla owners and crypto enthusiasts, makes him a perfect fit.”
Grimes, Musk’s most recent ex-wife at the time of this publication, said no one deserved the nomination more.
“Most fifty-something year old men will buy a Mustang or Corvette after a breakup,” she said. “Elon spent $44 billion on a social media site just to retweet Ian Miles Chong’s most thirty tweets inbetween Diablo streams.”
Actress Talulah Riley, Musk’s second and briefly, third wife, released an instagram post congratulating Elon on the nomination.
“When Elon was thinking of buying Twitter I urged him to do it, and delete it. He’s been doing a great, if somewhat slower job than I would prefer so far,” she said. “He just plays Elden Ring and retweets anyone who gets closest to saying the 14 words”
Elon himself was not available for comment, as he was busy drafting tweets that would eviscerate the enterprise value of one of his companies.
The query was forwarded to X’s CEO Linda Yaccarino however, who had an auto reply message on that said, “In regards to Elon’s recent tweet today: X’s point of view has always been very clear that discrimination by everyone should STOP across the board — I think that’s something we can and should all agree on. When it comes to this platform — X has also been extremely clear about our efforts to combat antisemitism and discrimination. There’s no place for it anywhere in the world — it’s ugly and wrong. Full stop.”
