TORONTO — Local gamer Chase Simpson has erroneously claimed to be making a dent in his enormous backlog after he began playing an 80 hour RPG.
Simpson, 28 and completely delusional, made a Twitter post announcing that he was finally starting Elden Ring, incorrectly claiming this would help him clear his backlog.
“Started working on my backlog recently and since I just beat Bulletstorm, it’s time to clear the next game off the list. Finally starting this masterpiece,” Simpson tweeted alongside a smiling picture of himself holding up Elden Ring. “I didn’t think I could do it but I’m actually making a dent in the backlog.”
Simpson’s mutuals immediately called out his delusions and attempted to warn him that this move wouldn’t help him clear his backlog.
“If you think starting Elden Ring is gonna help you clear your backlog then I want whatever drugs you’re on,” replied Twitter user FunkyMark. “Your backlog just got bigger, not smaller you stupid stupid man. Great game tho, enjoy!”
Simpson doubled down on his delusions as he hit back against his detractors.
“Don’t know where this negativity is coming from. I have an extensive backlog and now that I’m taking the steps to go through it everyone is telling me that what I’m doing is dumb and impossible. Well I’m not listening to the naysayers. I’m gonna play through Elden Ring and then continue through my backlog, this is the start of real progress.”
Gaming psychologist Dr. James Freeland weighed in on the matter, explaining that Simpson’s delusions are common amongst less hardened gamers.
“While most hardcore gamers have less functioning brains compared to most of society, the one area where they’re brains are most developed is the ability to withstand the psychological effects of the backlog. The less hardened the gaming portion of the brain is, the more susceptible they are to the kind of illusions of grandeur mister Simpson is suffering from. Thinking you can get through your backlog, let alone one with an 80 hour RPG in it is a common mistake that gamers make. Most only make it once, unfortunately some aren’t so lucky, they continue to believe it’s possible and have mental breakdowns.”
At press time, Simpson has confirmed he has added six more games to his backlog as Elden Ring has consumed all his gaming time and most of his life.
