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Comatose Gamer Banned From Pokémon Sleep For Using Exploits

CHICAGO — A comatose patient at Chicago General Hospital received a lifetime ban from Pokemon Sleep, for using exploits, sources have confirmed. 

“It has come to light in recent days that some members of staff have been leaving their phones next to comatose patient Sophie Montego’s bed in order to unlock rare creatures in the smartphone game Pokémon Sleep,” read an official statement released by the hospital. “We are extremely disappointed to see a patient being utilised in this way and staff will be disciplined as soon as our internal investigation is concluded. We’d like to offer our utmost apologies to the Montego family at this time.”

An inside source spoke to journalists regarding the incident under the condition of anonymity.

“Obviously things got a bit out of hand” said the anonymous source through a voice modulator on a Zoom call “it was an accident initially, one of the ward doctors left their phone beside her overnight, and in the morning discovered they’d unlocked a shiny Nidorino. Once that happened, all bets were off. Sophiemaxxing became the norm. By the end, the pillow on her bed was just stuffed with phones. Once the Pokémon Company caught wind, they banned Sophie’s account along with any phone in close proximity to hers. It was a dark day.”

The news has left the Montego family shaken since they were made aware earlier this week.

“It’s a very conflicting feeling I have towards the hospital at this point” said Sophie’s mother in an Instagram post earlier today. “Whilst Chicago General has shown blatant malpractice towards my daughter, it has been quite heartening to hear she has been helping the people who are caring for her to catch Polychus and Bulbizards. I can’t say for certain she’d be angry about it. We’ll still be taking legal action, of course.”

The Pokémon Company are aware of the pending litigation, and have ensured Ms. Montego that Sophie will receive a formal apology for the ban in the event that she ever wakes up.