GOODSPRINGS — A courier shot in the head near Goodsprings recently miraculously has survived and is expected to make a full recovery. The shooting was apparently caused by a dispute over a Turbo Man doll between Myron Larabee, the courier in question and his assailant, identified as “Benny”
“Man, I just wanted the stupid toy for my kid man,” Myron explained when questioned by NCR authorities who arrived at the scene, “I’m just a mailman, I wasn’t trying to get shot over the darn thing. I didn’t even have it man! I thought there were a few Turbo Man dolls delivered to the general store in town, but it was just a box of Boosters!”
Booster, being the wolf-like companion of Turbo Man, has been overstocked across the Mojave Wasteland, however it seems no one can get their hands on the elusive Turbo Man himself.
“Alright I’ll come clean, there weren’t any Turbo Man dolls at the general store but I did have this strange package in my mail bag,” Myron later said when pushed by reporters, “I opened it up and there he was, in all his glory. Can you believe I had one on me the entire time? Of course not long after that a hate crime was committed!”
The Turbo Man doll in question was reportedly en route to the eccentric Mr. House at his Penthouse at the Lucky 38 on the Strip. House has sworn to unleash his securitrons upon the entire strip and greater New Vegas area if his Turbo Man doll is not returned to him.
“Look all else I can tell you is this fancy ass white boy shot me in the head and told me “The game was rigged from the start” Like yeah you’re telling me! Ain’t no way for a black man to make it in this wasteland.” Myron concluded, leaving reporters baffled and also a little guilty.
As of press time the Turbo Man doll still has not been found however “Benny” was identified as the head of the Chairmen at the Tops Casino was found dead in his bed after what was an apparent crime of passion by a romantic partner murdering him post coitus.
Potentially related, Myron Larabee was seen leaving the Tops Casino the same morning the body was found.
