SAN FRANCISCO — Casual gamer Paul DeVois has accidentally purchased a platformer despite his dislike of the genre after being mesmerized by the beautiful artwork.
Paul DeVois, who was mindlessly scrolling the eShop when a passing thumbnail caught his eye, told the story of his mistaken aTwitter thread to his handful of followers.
“It was an independent platformer I had never heard of, but it came painted with an artstyle I just couldn’t resist. I was being shortsighted,” said DeVois. “It’s a side scroller which usually aren’t my favorite, but the backgrounds were these beautiful tapestries that alluded to a far bigger world beyond your screen. The enemies had this eldritch horror aspect, dark and mysterious. But I never even faced them.”
DeVois detailed how his attempted playthrough went.
“Thirty seconds in, there was an uncanny platform made of the bones of those who died before me. I was kind of excited as I made the jump but I just flew through the air, toggled forward and back, and fell to my death. Again and again, I fell, respawned, and fell again. Just a nice quick reminder that I hate platformers.”
DeVois’ roommate Floyd weighed in on the debacle, giving his perspective of DeVois’ time playing.
“I heard him from the other room,” said Floyd. “At first I thought he was just bumping some music, it slapped. Then the cursing started. I didn’t know if I should go in and help, I didn’t know if it was safe. After a couple hours, I heard a shatter. I wasn’t sure if it was the screen, the window, or something else. Then it all went silent.”
Sadly, DeVois’ story is all too common among casual gamers. The allure of a captivating art style cons them into purchasing games that they are unqualified to complete.
“Some people are just bad gamers,” says mid-tier Twitch streamer Abby Rover. “It’s the harsh reality, but even the most intuitive games can’t teach them to time a wall jump. I’ve watched some of my closest friends fall victim to the false confidence that games like Hollow Knight and Celeste give you. Even the best games don’t solve ineptitude.”
At press time, DeVois has yet to return to the game though in the wake of this abandonment, his Stardew Valley farm has never looked better.
