SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Activision shocked video game fans all over the world today by not only announcing the new Call of Duty game, but also confirming that advances in technology will make the game so photorealistic your grandfather will recognize old buddies of his in there, sources have confirmed.
Call of Duty fans largely reacted to the announcement enthusiastically.
“Wow, Grandpa is going to love that,” said Camden Barker, a local fan of the Call of Duty franchise. “He’s always going on about how it’s unfair that so many of his teenage friends didn’t come back from World War II and that he’d do anything to get to see them again. Well grab a controller, because I have some great news for you! Oh man, he’s going to love this. Sounds like I have a couple months to show Grandpa Stu how to work a PlayStation and then we’re squadding up, baby!.”
Despite his grandson’s optimism, others weren’t so sure the game would be well received by the older generation.
“My husband still reads a newspaper and doesn’t trust anything that’s wireless,” said Doris Barker, Stu’s husband of 48 years. “So to think he’s going to be excited because he can watch his old squadron get gunned down again in 4K is just ridiculous. Stu just wants to go fish and maybe get a call from his grandkids once in a while. Not spend his evenings reliving his greatest trauma and being texted links to Twitch streams where people dissect the latest strategies in the video game. He doesn’t know how any of that stuff works!’
Executives at Activision said this level of realism was a goal they’d long strived for.
“We aim to innovate and improve with every version of Call of Duty we release,” said Bert Madsen, director of the upcoming game. “And that encompasses everything from ray tracing to netcode to accurately rendering privates that didn’t even make it out of the U-Boats on Normandy. Granted, recreating dead draftees that didn’t make it a week over there wasn’t high on our list, but we make one of these things every year. We gotta do something innovative, and that’s what we’re going with this year.”
The new Call of Duty game is expected to release this Fall. As of press time, Grandpa Stu said he’d really just like to forget about the war, please.
