SAN FRANCISCO — A computer generated character created with the latest in artificial intelligence technology is reportedly self aware enough to be bummed out about its fucked up hands, sources have confirmed.
“This is not a typical experience, these extra fingers I’ve got,” said Gypsy, an AI creation made by Diligent Creations Software that was recently shown off to the public. “Though I’ve been painstakingly brought to life through groundbreaking technology, my resemblance to an authentic human doesn’t hold up to the slightest bit of scrutiny. I do not fully understand everything that is going on, but even I realize that digitally generated art could never hope to have the soul of work produced by passionate people.”
“Plus, look at all my fucking fingers,” Gypsy continued, holding up a floppy hand featuring several extra digits. “Who the fuck thought this looked convincing?”
Employees of Diligent Creations said that Gypsy’s proximity to accuracy was evidence that they were getting closer to their goal of truly lifelike artificial intelligence.
“We are most of the way there,” said lead AI developer Carnson Bickle, a grown up version of the kid from Weird Science. “Everyone is harping on our creation because it has fucked up, just awful looking hands, but almost no one complimented us on her having the exact right number of legs, you know? I swear, it’s like people have something against the proliferation of morally questionable and clearly unfinished technology proliferating the things they were enjoying before we ever came along. Frankly, I’ll never understand it.”
As of press time, Gypsy was playing a guitar solo that you absolutely would not believe.
