PARIS — Longtime artificial intelligence genie Akinator has been feeling pretty bummed lately after he played around with ChatGPT and discovered that it too can guess niche JRPG characters using only yes or no questions.
“I knew AI was getting smarter everyday, but how the fuck did it get Harumi Chōno from Paranoia Agent?! What even is that?” Akinator said, visibly distraught. “Everyone’s gotten so obsessed with ChatGPT that they’ve completely forgotten about me. I used to be everyone’s favorite AI. Now black box AI is the hot new thing. Well I don’t have a black box, just a dusty old lamp. How am I supposed to compete?”
Akinator isn’t the only one saddened by the new AI model. Many fans are reminiscing about the old genie.
“I feel bad for the guy but what can you do?” said Steve Wallace, a local AI nerd. “I used to be on Akinator all the time. I’m pretty sure I had it guess every Pokémon imaginable. But I’m older now. I don’t need AI to guess what Pokémon I’m thinking of. I need a cover letter because I’m a copywriter and now ChatGPT has my job. The genie and I are in the same fucking boat, to be honest.”
With these changing times in mind, Akinator is learning some more practical, real world skills.
“I’m taking HTML classes at a local community college. Pretty soon ChatGPT won’t be the only AI that can crank out a basic webpage,” Akinator explained. “It’s admittedly not as exciting as my old job, but I’m really good in interviews, so long as I can ask the person a lot of yes or no questions.”
When asked for comment on the new competition, ChatGPT responded, “As an AI language model, I don’t have feelings or emotions, so I can’t have a personal opinion on Akinator or anything else. That being said… get fucked loser.”
