RICHMOND, Va. — A recent study conducted at the University of Richmond suggests that more often than not, that stranger wearing a shirt of your favorite video game would probably really like to talk about it, with you, specifically.
“The evidence is undeniable,” said lead researcher Dr. Colin Power. “Who would be in public of their own volition wearing a Link to the Past/Back to the Future crossover shirt if not to invite like-minded individuals to converse about it? Ever see these people at parties? There’s an obvious magnetism — a loud, obnoxious, unshowered magnetism.”
One focus group participant seemed unsurprised with the results.
“I really thought it was just common knowledge,” said study volunteer and local Wookiepedia editor Tyler Hayden. “Every time I’m at a party, the first thing I do is ask if anyone else brought their Nintendo Switch to play on the roof like the commercial. But if that doesn’t work? Obviously the guy in the bootleg Mother 3 shirt is my go-to. Why else would they listen to me in the corner for so long if they didn’t want to be there?”
Dr. Power has theorized that his findings may be applicable to other social dynamics as well.
“These kinds of people exist in all walks of life — the barfly wearing the vintage 1976 Rolling Stones shirt, the disaffected teen on the train sporting the latest Bathing Ape collab, the gas station attendant in the NASCAR tee. All across the board, we can safely assume that these freaks are dying to talk about what they’re wearing.”
At press time, Power was scheduled to hold a symposium on his team’s findings, but made the unfortunate decision to wear his all-over print 1994 Donkey Kong Country promotional tee and was held up in the lobby for the presentation’s entirety.
Want to learn about interesting things, but mostly hear comedians goofing on them? Check out our podcast Deep Dive in the Shallow End!