CHARLOTTE, N.C. — An unexpected bit of sexual tension filled the air during a viewing of Jeopardy! last night, as a Kia Soul commercial voiced by Will Arnett proved to be strangely erotic, a troubled local family has confirmed.
“I was only half paying attention at the time,” said Joe Branch, the family’s father. “But that sultry Will Arnett voice cut through whatever else I was doing and suddenly I was transfixed. He was talking about payment options and anti-lock brakes, but man he might as well have been describing a beautiful woman, because suddenly I was hot and bothered in a way I haven’t been in ages.”
The sexual excitement wasn’t limited to the patriarch of the family, sources confirmed.
“I was doing my homework when suddenly that Kia commercial came on,” said Hattie Branch, the teenage daughter of the family. “And the next thing I know my parents suddenly had to go ‘Change a lightbulb upstairs,’ and my little brother literally sprinted into the nearest bathroom as soon as the commercial was over. Then 15 minutes later everyone came back in the room and asked me who’d won Jeopardy!. I don’t know, you perverts. Maybe if you didn’t let a car commercial horn you up you would’ve seen for yourself!”
Arnett was reportedly shocked to hear of the unintended eroticism his voiceover lent the Kia Soul commercial.
“You’re kidding me,” said the star of Arrested Development, Bojack Horseman, and a plethora of voice acting roles. “Please tell me I’m not introducing unwanted sexual tension with all of my work. Oh god, what about LEGO Batman? What have I done?!”
As of press time, the Branch family’s shared sexual frenzy was cooled when a commercial for the Super Mario Bros. Movie came on featuring Chris Pratt’s Mario voice.
