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Which Spider-Man Villain Do You Wish Would Murder Your Uncle for You?

Uncles can be a bit of a handful. Whether pointedly bringing up politics out of nowhere during a family dinner, or making racially-charged comments about the NFL after a couple drinks on Christmas, sometimes Peter Parker’s origin story seems a bit enviable. But which nemesis should do the dirty work? This list will break down the pros and cons of some Spider-Man villains murdering your uncle.

A Burglar

PRO: Down-to-earth, relatable killer that would teach you the value of heroism

CON: Nobody likes sloppy seconds

The Green Goblin

PRO: Poetic justice for your uncle who doesn’t believe in vaccines to be offed by a scientist.

CON: Can’t inherit your uncle’s vintage Cowboy’s jersey if its disintegrated by a pumpkin bomb.


PRO: Gives Thomas Hayden Church more work

CON: Will be cleaning your uncle’s murderer out of your shoes for weeks


PRO: Uncle would have to suffer through a live theater performance

CON: SAG notoriously difficult to coordinate with


PRO: Journalist Eddie Brock already has grievance with uncles who decry ‘fake news’ 

CON: Uncle will launch into tirade about alien symbiotes taking the jobs of patriotic American supervillains

Kraven the Hunter

PRO: Would use every part of your uncle after hunting him 

CON: Could bond with your uncle about Second Amendment rights

Big Wheel

PRO: Uncle flattened by a big wheel

CON: Uncle flattened by a big wheel