LOS ANGELES — NBCUniversal streaming service Peacock has drawn scrutiny after releasing a putrid and toxic Twisted Metal trailer into the already polluted American air, sources have confirmed.
“Shame on Peacock for contributing to what is already a historically unsafe level of air degradation,” said Lynn Rogers, an EPA spokesperson and old school Twisted Metal fan from back in the day. “I understand that the trailer had probably been ready for some time, but to premiere something so dangerously noxious while the American Northeast is collectively dealing with the effects of Canadian wildfires, well, it’s just irresponsible. Not to mention they didn’t show a single fucking car in the preview. What the hell was that about?”
Executive producers of the upcoming Twisted Metal show apologized and vowed to offset their negative contributions to the current media environment.
“We’re sorry for our part in this mess, and we’re doing everything we can to fix it,” said Michael Jonathan Smith, executive producer of the series. “We’re working on a new trailer that will be a little more what everyone expected to see, and hopefully we can clear the air around this project a little bit in every sense of the word. We’ve also heard your concern regarding the dated and strained jokes about musical artist Sisqo, and will be cutting those by over 75% in this new version. Also, hey, we might even show a car or two! Keep your eyes peeled!”
As of press time, the EPA has once again reminded citizens with respiratory illnesses that they might not want to seek out yesterday’s Twisted Metal footage.
