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Lackluster A24 Movie Released Direct to Criterion Blu-Ray

NEW YORK — After watching a disappointing rough cut of the upcoming comedy-drama film Funeral for a Marsupial, executives at the independent film distributor A24 have decided to release the movie directly to Criterion Collection Blu-Ray.

“We’re all very pleased with how Funeral for a Marsupial is coming along, and we’re as excited as ever to partner with [director] Clive McKittrick on his unique vision,” said A24 co-founder David Fenkel. “Our decision to take the movie straight to Criterion is not meant to undercut that vision, but just to recognize that there is a specific niche audience who this movie already speaks directly to. It just makes economic sense for us to bridge that gap directly rather than to have another Tusk on our hands.”

Director Clive McKittrick says that he is undaunted by the decision and looking forward to releasing Funeral for a Marsupial in any form.

“I trust good people at Criterion,” said McKittrick. “They know how to curate good movies, but more importantly, they know how to sell Blu-Rays. When you see a movie in the Criterion Collection, you don’t go back to check what its box office numbers were, or how many Academy Awards it was nominated for, do you? That’s right, you don’t. You just shut up, smile, nod, and assume that the movie is good enough for Criterion to charge you $39.96 for it and then explain to you why you should like it.”

At press time, McKittrick nervously added that the Criterion store often has pretty good clearance sales in case anyone is on the fence about purchasing Funeral for a Marsupial on Blu-Ray when it releases this fall.

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