Pardon the intrusion friend! Oh please, there’s no need to get up from your desk, I just wanted to drop in with my associates Rocco and Tony here to have a little chat. I see that you’ve got a nice HP+ printer here and you have my sincerest thanks for purchasing such a fine machine. But a little birdie told me that you’ve just run out of ink so I just wanted to drop in and deliver it to you myself! I hope you can forgive me for being so disheartened seeing you’re not using the recommended premium HP brand ink.
Gee whiz, it sure would be a shame if you put that third party ink into this printer. It could lead to some unforeseen negative consequences if you’re not careful.
Listen pal, you and I both know that this second rate swill won’t do your documents justice. You need only the best ink and only we can provide that for you! I’m just confused because I thought you understood this from day one. I’d be more than happy to go over the T&S you signed when you set everything up, since you must have forgotten that we’ve allowed you the privilege to pay us a subscription fee for whatever we please.
Calm down friend, you’re not in trouble. I’m just ever so curious as to why you’d think some crap you picked up at Staples would work – oh, you managed to circumvent the DRM we built to lock out? Looks like we got a real tech whiz here! Hey Rocco, can you believe this guy! Maybe we can have him replace you at R&D since he’s so goddamn slick.
Listen you little cocksucker, do you think this is a fucking game? I am the printer industry and you’re gonna pay us just like everyone else. So here’s what you’re going to do: you’re going to be a good boy and turn “cartridge protection” back on and your printer is going back to not recognizing third party ink cartridges, much like how your family won’t recognize your face if you switch to Epson or Canon.
We know you have a choice when it comes to your printer hardware, but you better grow eyes in the back of your fucking skull next time you’re running low on cyan and try to go behind my back again, capiche?
