LOS ANGELES — Vultures are circling above the studio formerly known as Termite Terrace after word spread that Warner Bros. Discovery is demolishing the original Looney Tunes animation bungalow.
“Eh-the eh-the eh-the eh-the eh-that’s all really devastating to hear,” said Porky Pig, former studio mascot. “After D-Daffy and I just saved the pl-eh pl-eh pl-eh Earth from an asteroid too.”
The demolition is contracted to Acme Corp., known for its bed springs, fly paper, and straight-jacket ejecting bazookas. The teardown was scheduled to happen weeks ago but the truck delivering the TNT was accidentally driven into a wall painted like the studio, causing a lit cigar to fly from the driver’s mouth, lighting the dynamite.
“I say, I say, I say the unemployment office needs more staff. I say, pick up the phone, boy!” declared Foghorn Leghorn. “I’m not one of those docile pushovers you’re used to dealin’ with, son. I’m a loud-mouthed schnook with more feathers than brains, but I am indeed worried about my future.”
Ketchup Entertainment is currently in talks with Warner Bros. to purchase the Looney Tunes brand after a studio executive drove by the lot and saw a coyote holding a sign that read “help”. The timing couldn’t have been better as the Animaniacs were recently served an eviction notice to evacuate their water tower.
“They can have it if they pay up,” said Warner Bros. CEO David Zaslav. “That lot is blocking my view to Venus and it’s time to go. In its place will be a shorter structure housing offices to brainstorm new ways to write off taxes, in addition to spa rooms and an Erewhon Smoothie Express staffed 24 hours a day. We’re confident in Wile E. Coyote’s abilities to drop an anvil from a speeding rocket onto the lot. Any remaining characters on the premises will be chased by security into the sunset.”
At press time, David Zaslav was seen mixing a barrel of a mysterious green liquid while laughing maniacally
