BREAKING: HUGE NEWS! Upon searching, it appears that the movie that everyone in the group has finally agreed to watch is available on Hulu, one of the streaming services that the host has on their Roku. It took a while for everyone to agree on a movie, with people saying they either had seen that movie before, or the proposed movie was simply out of the question because someone’s brother-in-law had said that movie sucked, and Brian knows a lot about movies.
But after the long, arduous process, the group all finally came to a consensus. And lo and behold, the movie is on Hulu!
Could this process be any easier? No renting the movie and venmoing someone, no having to buy the movie on YouTube, and no suffering through advertisements of the movie playing on cable. Hulu has answered your prayers and the movie was part of their catalog all along. The universe is sending you a sign that this movie is the perfect selection for tonight’s festivities. Nothing can stop this movie night! God himself could do nothing to stand in the way of your friend group making memories watching this movie together!
UPDATE: God hath played us for a fool. Our hubris is now revealed. Upon typing the title of the movie into the Hulu search, it appeared in all its glory, with cast information and a colorful background featuring a riveting scene from the movie. But alas, the play button was locked behind the barrier of the Starz add-on, grinding the process to a permanent halt, sending your movie selection careening back to square one as punishment for your arrogance.
Maybe this is a cosmic penance for your actions, or maybe the deck was stacked against you from the start. In any event, this will undoubtedly send movie night into an anarchic frenzy, with people shouting and fighting about what to watch. It’s over, and as you watch the Starz Add-On send your Sisyphean boulder rolling back down the hill, you have nobody to blame but yourself.
Oh, of course fucking Shelby won’t let you pull up 123movies on her TV! IT DOESN’T GIVE YOU A VIRUS SHELBY WE USE IT ALL THE TIME!
