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Gamer’s Left Thumb Sore From Sprinting All Day

WATERTOWN, Mass. — Local gamer Terence Vallee has been pushing his body well past its comfort level during gaming sessions, leaving his left thumb incredibly sore due to the amount of running.

“I’m sprinting five miles and swimming one every day, at least,” said Vallee, in reference to the different activities pressing the left thumbstick triggers in the various first person shooters he plays all day. “I’ve been doing all out sprints, intervals, planks, squats, crawling around by mistake, you name it. I get why they call gamers e-athletes; I had to start wearing a headband while gaming.”  

Vallee has recently undertaken a new gaming fitness regime, having two or three sessions a day and limiting himself to just one tray of Bagel Bites and two 20oz Diet Pepsis a day. The Discord dedicated to his progress has been enthusiastically supportive of him.

“We are noticing the difference in Terence and the dedication he’s given to his Far Cry regimen has really inspired the boys,” said a user going by the name “FartHerder” in the channel. “It sucks that his thumb is sore right now because we were supposed to play some expeditions tonight. I understand that he wants until it’s fully healed to get back out there. If he learns to stretch properly, he could really cap out his sprint perks one day.”

In addition to the Far Cry series, Vallee has also been putting reps in such titles as Borderlands, Wolfenstein. He says he hopes to one day reach the fitness level of someone able to climb mountains in Death Stranding.

“I’ve struggled with my image of myself as a gamer since I was too out of shape to finish Doom on the original PlayStation,” he explained. “By the later levels, my hand was too fatigued to properly sprint through certain parts, and my girlfriend said she could never take me seriously witnessing it. She said she wasn’t ready for a relationship, but she had another boyfriend a week later. It was the Doom, thing, I know it.”

Pushing forward, Vallee’s goal is to be able to compete in the Olympic Games with Mario & Sonic. Those who wish to pursue his story can do so by following his fitness journey Instagram.

Check out our comedy podcast The Video Game Super Show! Show, in which two of our editors watch and discuss every episode of  1989’s Captain N: The Game Master:

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