Sakurai Adds Waluigi to Kirby Air Riders
TOKYO — In a recent Nintendo Direct, director Masahiro Sakurai confirmed that, after decades of speculation and demand, he would…
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R. Anthony Mahan
29 stories found
Nintendo Patents Pressing Button to Jump
KYOTO — Nintendo has filed a patent giving them the exclusive right to the gameplay mechanic of pressing a button…
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Well, We’ll Always Not Have Half-Life 3
My fellow fans of quality video game satire, I have devastating news. Hell hath frozen over. Hollow Knight: Silksong is…
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Opinion: These Methods May Seem Extreme, but in the Long Run They Will Bring Order to California (By Caesar)
So you’re the courier who dares to speak out against the Legion. My trusted frumentarius, Vulpes Inculta, has told me…
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Nathan Fielder Builds Shadow Moses Island
UNIMAK ISLAND, Alaska — Shortly after beating Metal Gear Solid for the first time, comedian Nathan Fielder has constructed a…
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RFK Jr. Demands Records of Everyone Who Has Played a Sonic Game
WASHINGTON — As part of his alleged plan to find the cause and cure for autism, US Health Secretary Robert…
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Great Depression Gets HD Remaster
NEW YORK — Gamers rejoiced today as top heads of the video game industry, in conjunction with every other industry…
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JFK Files Reveal Lee Harvey Oswald Played Violent Video Games
WASHINGTON — The recent declassification of all records relating to President John F. Kennedy’s assassination has revealed that the event…
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Beautiful Woman Doesn’t Understand Why She Can’t Find Unemployed Gamer
CRESTVIEW, Fla. — Sources have confirmed that Kacey Flach, a 25-year-old cosplay enthusiast, has expressed frustration at her failure to…
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How Elon Musk Would Change Every Hasbro IP
Brilliant industrialist and Shadow President-elect Elon Musk has recently suggested buying Hasbro, because this selfless hero has dedicated himself to…
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