Opinion: You’re Fucking Mafia, Dude April 17, 2020 Listen, we’ve all gotten to know each other pretty well since college orientation started, and you seem like a really… Read More →
Opinion: You’re a Fucking Moron If You Really Believe the Xbox Series X Will Be Big Enough to Hold 6 Teraflops April 16, 2020 Don’t let yourself get suckered by all that fancy talk Microsoft is blowing up your ass. There’s just no way… Read More →
AI Programmed to Play ‘Fallout 76’ Has Learned to Ask for Different Game April 12, 2020 BERKELY, Calif. — After six weeks of playing Fallout 76, an artificial intelligence affectionately nicknamed “Master” reportedly taught itself how… Read More →
Larger Thug Feels Pressure to Take On Leadership Position March 30, 2020 RIVER CITY— Local gangster Antonio Russo continues to work a low level thug position despite pressures from higher ranking goons… Read More →
UBI to Be Distributed Over Daily Login Bonus on Whitehouse.gov March 27, 2020 WASHINGTON — In order to streamline distribution, sources are reporting that Universal Basic Income will be distributed to Americans via… Read More →
If Sonic Water Levels Gave You Lifelong Anxiety, You May Be Entitled to Compensation March 25, 2020 Thousands of gamers across the world are providing testimonials accusing Sonic The Hedgehog water levels of giving them lifelong anxiety… Read More →
Chain Smoking BioShock Devs Trying to Think of Weird Place a City Could Be February 24, 2020 SAN FRANCISCO — With only a week left before their deadline, a group of stressed, chain-smoking developers of the new… Read More →
XCOM Player Doesn’t Trust 90% OkCupid Match January 23, 2020 TUCSON, Ariz. — Local XCOM player Chris Sweeten was not totally prepared to trust a 90% match with a girl… Read More →
Marvel’s New Trans Superhero Will Be Completely Invisible at All Times January 21, 2020 LOS ANGELES — In a first for the multi-million dollar media franchise, president of Marvel Studios Kevin Feige has confirmed… Read More →
Gamer Wishes There Was Some Way to Play FFVII Right Now January 16, 2020 SANTA FE, N.M. — Blindsided by the delay of its upcoming remake, Square Enix fan Derick Stanley tells reporters he… Read More →